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these are drafts written since 2007 that never made it to actual posts. i have certainly grown since writing these thoughts but felt that, in sharing them, i could also re-live these moments and see myself just how far i've come from the person i used to be. all are unedited and posted as they were first written.



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Sunday, December 14, 2014

‚ÄčI try even when I can't answer as to why I'm even trying anymore. I've always been very keen on taking a hint. When I feel like my efforts go unnoticed or are unappreciated, I'll move on and occupy my focus with something else. But then, I always come back. Why? I don't know. That's the most frustrating part. When things are over, they should be over, right? I am setting myself up for the brush off and yet, knowing this, I don't care. Until I do. And then I vow to never attempt to connect again. Until I do. Perhaps I've been convinced by the very people shutting me out that I am not disposable. I am worthy for their attention. I am worth the friendship. I am worth the try. But here I am, trying, while they do nothing. And still, I try. Why? Why? Why?

(07-21-2013)

 



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