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these are drafts written since 2007 that never made it to actual posts. i have certainly grown since writing these thoughts but felt that, in sharing them, i could also re-live these moments and see myself just how far i've come from the person i used to be. all are unedited and posted as they were first written.



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words left unsaid
Saturday, December 13, 2014

‚ÄčI've been thinking a lot about my life and death. No one wants to talk about it really, and I don't blame them, but the truth is that it's coming no matter what we do. There is so much we can control but this one thing, is completely out of our hands. I want to live a long and healthy life. I want to be able to watch my nieces and nephews grow into adults. I want to always be around in case someone needs me. I think most about my husband. Is it possible to love someone so much that you only want your life prolonged so that they will not suffer in your absence? When someone loves me the way I know he loves me, it's hard to be unconcerned about what that loss would mean for him. If I could ever take the suffering away from those that I love, I totally would. So with that, it pains me to know that someday I will be the cause of agony for someone else.

(06-18-2013)

 



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